End of Week 1 12WBT

G'day mate!!

I've had another great weekend out and about exploring the greatest country in the world - and this weekend took me to Kangaroo Island with my partners folks and granny.

The weather wasn't amazing but the rain held out and we got to see so many cool things e.g. seals, goannas, wild koalas and even a queen bee! Super cool :)

Now that I've completed week 1, I wanted to write about Michelle Bridge's 12WBT. I found the food to be simple and tasty. I was pretty excited to be able to incorporate some bread with my food and found the greatest gluten free loaf since, well sliced bread!! lol daggy ;-)

Yeh, so the meals are simple, you don't feel like you're cutting anything out of your diet and its a great combo of proteins, good carbs and veg. I particularly like the fact that there is a meal plan and exercise plan, its all laied out for me and I don't have to think too much. If I want I can mix up the meals and do swaps and the same with the exercise plan so its good like that. The most exciting thing I have found is that I am finding some of the intermediate workouts easy so I've added extra things or switched to advanced! YEH BOI!

So I found the week to be easy, I did all the workouts and ate so well... but then the weekend came... as usual I wasn't prepared well enough. Since we were having visitors and going away I didn't really have much control over the food, they went shopping while I was at work but were kind enough to buy a heap of veg and fruit. I made some bircher muesli before we left and stressed that I wanted to keep my food simple and healthy - without having to explain I was on a diet to a sports scientist... Anyway, I didn't have access to calorie counters so I had to guess. We had a BBQ and salads most of the time so I thought I was okay... Got home and found out that I had gone waaay over!! The cheese platter and a glass of wine with every meal - yes just one glass - was enough to tip me well over the edge!! Oh and not to mention the grilled eggplant that was drowned in oil (which I didn't find out till later).

Anyway, even though I thought I was okay, I wasn't. Lesson learned. I now know that one premixed Bacardi is around 300 calories and doesn't even taste very good, and that cheese is pure evil! I do NOT need 3 serves of blue cheese no matter how excited my taste buds get.

So this is the start of week 2 and already manipulating the menu, we have only just gotten home (mid day) and about to do the food shopping - so I need to be organised prep and all that lovely stuff that my partner hates! AND my Sunday is now no longer a rest day since I wont be doing anything today but resetting my priorities.

Weigh in is Wednesday so I am freaking out! I lost 1.5kg last week and I am terrified that I will have a gain due to my stupidity over the weekend. Oh well, week 1 lesson learned, now to move on and become sexy hot!

BTW that 1.5kg meant I made it to reward number 1 and I got my HRM - damn do I love that thing!

peace out xx

12WBT Beginning

I've been hearing so many good news storied about Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation and have decided to finally join in.

I've been quite off track lately and I think this might just give me that little push that I need. With the 12wbt you make commitments to yourself and to the 'group' there are forums you can post on and people you can meet up with. You are provided with exercise plans menu plans and a heap of advice. You are also given tasks each week to improve your mind set and also weekly weigh ins to keep you accountable.

If anything, I need some kind of structure to help me in a routine. I generally start something and go at it head on for a week or so but then my motivation dies as time passes and I am yet again at that starting point. So, 12 weeks of being accountable to myself and having the forum with a heap of people in the same position should give me that continual help and assistance that I need.

Come at me routine!

I told my bf about it and his first reaction was "WTF Sonja, another bloody diet? You keep starting these things and wasting your money..."  Well, I wasn't expecting that!

I was mad as hell! He's usually really supportive but today not so much and that's probably because he keeps hearing me going on about something or other. But regardless that is no way to support me!

After a bit of silence he apologised and I explained to him that I don't appreciate any kind of negativity and if he is not supporting me, then I need him to not speak to me about what I am eating, what I am doing or what I am writing. I can not have any negative talk around me because I know what it does to me, I feel useless, which then makes me want to give up on myself and binge. If he doesn't think I can do it, then I must not be able to... those kinds of thoughts are not wanted! Negative people and negative thoughts are like weeds and this is what I am trying to eliminate from my life. Anyway, he was apologetic and asked me if I could tell him more about it, after I explained that is a whole approach to weight loss, happiness, fitness and general positive outlook I think he got it.

We've been talking a bit about my negativity and how to get me out of this rut, so having this conversation helped but I don't really like how we got there!

Anyway that's behind me and I am excited about this journey, I think it starts 19 Nov so I will post an update when I begin :)

Peace out x

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

I have been pretty slack with blogging and well everything in general… feeling down and flat most days and I only have myself to blame. 

We have had visitors every weekend which involves a lot of wineries, dining out, partying and generally a lot of the kinds of things people do on holidays – eating, drinking and not caring about health because, heck there on holidays! And I want to show them all a good time, it’s not like they will visit us again since we will be moving, and we haven’t seen a lot of people so we kind of treat it like our own little vacation where we hang out with friends, drink and eat. 

Now in saying that, our week days are fuelled with exercise in the mornings and healthy eating; however I think our weekends have been tremendously disastrous since I have seen a slight increase on the scales. Not only that, but my mood is very low. I can only predict that it is the weekend catching up to me and I am back in the detox phase… I think this must happen every weekend… Oh I can see an *ah ha* moment happening!! OMG so I am detoxing all over again, my body is getting rid of all the crap I put into it over the weekend only for me to put it back again! Thanks blog, for letting me come to this result and now it’s time for me to do something about it. No wonder nothings working!!

I hit the shops on the weekend to try on swimmers - I've decided to listen to the physio and go to the not so near nearest pool. It's been 15 years out of the water… I bought the most flattering of all unflattering swimmers, some goggles and a hair cap for my funky adventure to the pool – I will look like a total tool but I guess so will everyone else there…

I sent my bf an email banging on about how nervous I am about going to the pool looking like a whale and he sent this: 

*shakes fist*

STOP IT SONJA. YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUS.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND IMAGINE HOW HAPPY YOU WOULD BE WITHOUT THIS NEGATIVE MINDSET ALL THE TIME. 

Yup, all in caps! I kinda forget how much my actions and comments affect the people around me. He’s right you know, all this time and energy I spend hating on myself, I could have rebuilt the entire Colosseum – twice! He says his life would be so much easier if I was happy with myself. Breaks my heart to know that I affect him like this. I used to try to tell myself something positive every day, like how proud I was that I could run the 4km without stopping, at how my arms are growing and I love that but then it stops, I forget to nurture myself. 

 

I used to get really bad anxiety attacks and didn’t sleep for days which made things worse. My dad is a psychologist and a bit of a hippy and has researched neurofeedback

 

It is a non-invasive and non-medicated way to reduce stress, OCD, anxiety etc and get you back on an even keel. It helps regulate your brain waves using a reward system when watching movies – simply put, you watch a movie and when the frequency of your brain waves dip and rise the colour and the sound of the movie will be altered depending on what frequency you set to be the ‘optimum’ level for a calm and clear state. I used to do this and it got me sleeping and killed my anxiety pretty quickly – and helped with OCD issues. I certainly need to start using it again to get me thinking clearer and help with my self-esteem. It seems when I am thinking better I focus on the positives rather than the negatives which is where I am stuck at the moment. 

For more info http://www.learnwiseaustralia.com

 

There are a few things on my plate, like starting a chemistry and biology bridging course for uni, about to start Italian language classes, starting a new full time job that is out-posted from Ceduna into Adelaide – so basically I am on my own, prepping for a move back to Canberra in January and not being able to find my happy medium where I can be happy with my body to allow myself to change. So yeah, I’m a little stressed. And I do come home and snap at my partner, download my issues onto him and most likely drag him down into my well of self-loathing.

But you know what, his comment really opened my eyes, I do get very negative and it has been a part of my daily life for probably 20 years and it will take some adjustments and a lot of effort to be more positive but I have to do it. Not only for my partner who supports me and thinks I’m special but also and more importantly for me. I owe it to myself to change. Because no matter how I look or what number is on the scale, I will always battle with this negativity unless I do something about it.

Negative talk and thoughts go deeper into our psyche and destroy everything! They sabotage good efforts and hold you back from becoming who you want to become, achieving what you want to achieve and stop you from living! I don’t want that for myself anymore, I am ready to make some big changes internally and pull myself out of this well – gunna have to grow some more muscle, time for the gym sugar!! 

I’m gunna start Neurofeedback, making a pros list about myself, catching myself when I start to say something negative and writing down issues – get them out and deal with them! I’ve been using a white board marker and writing to do lists on the mirror so I don’t forget, I think I will start adding some positive affirmations to get me going.

 

Ok, so a pretty deep blog today! Haha time to get over it!

I went to aqua-aerobics this morning and loved it! I felt so young! Hahaha. The old ladies were lovely and the best part about it was no one could see my wedgie or how unco I am – except when I was going left instead of right! It feels so good to have done something I would have never done in Canberra! Times are changing and I feel it’s all good baby, it’s all good :)

Peace x